Do you have friends?

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"Of course I do." Would be everyone's response, right? Because to say, "I have no friends" is to feel like a total loser.

But how do you define a friend? How often are you able to be with them? What do you talk about?

I'm not sure that I would say I really do have a friend or friends. I definitely have acquaintances. I even have people that I get together with very regularly as a family. But, an individual that I regularly show up with and can talk about anything with besides my spouse I would have to say no.

Why is that? Well... I don't think it's other people's fault I'm sure it's just as much my fault. I've heard it said, "To have a friend you need to be a friend." And I believe there's a lot of truth in that statement. It takes work of following up with someone, showing up and not thinking the other person needs to do all the work. I believe it's also not thinking the other person needs to be someone that they're not... being realistic in your expectations of other people. They don't just think about you all the time.

So, maybe a better question than, "Do you have friends?" should be, "Are you being a friend to anyone?"

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