In a funk

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I feel like I've been in a funk most of this week. I can't put my finger on why. I felt like we had a good weekend last weekend getting the house decorated for Christmas after time with family for Thanksgiving. I guess I was off for 5 days, so maybe that had a little to do with it. We also had a fairly productive time off with painting the ceiling and regrouting the kitchen counters and going through stuff in the kitchen.

Then it was back to work Monday through Thursday in the basement. Maybe that was part of it. Then I didn't have the most productive week in general for work. I tend to measure my week by how "productive" I am. The more I get done... the better it was. I don't typically measure it based on how my relationship is with others, which is more important. I put tasks before people, which I want to get better at not doing.

What if my kids really need me and I'm like well I really need to organize my sock drawer. Or my wife needs me and I'm busy organizing my tools. They sound like silly examples, but I can see things like this happening in my life. How much time do I spend focused on tasks and projects and how much time do I focus on my relationship with others? I even look at this blog. It's a task at this point with a goal to get better at writing. Along the way of blogging, I'm able to record thoughts I have that I can go back and look at. Maybe there are thoughts here that are generous and provide someone else with encouragement or help. But I've been mainly writing for myself the last 2 years and it's been a task. I like the routine and I like tasks. It makes me feel like I accomplished something.

At this point, I feel like I'm rambling this morning, but it's just my way of processing. 

God. Help me care more about others. Help me to care less about projects. Help me to love my family well.

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